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bricklayer's accident report
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This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.
ACCIDENT CLAIM FORM REPORT FOR INJURIES.
Dear Sirs:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident.
You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building.
When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.
Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks You. will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.
Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed.
This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident re port form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley
Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience (pain), At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now, devoid of the weight of bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.
I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your inquiry.


It's mercy, compassion and forgiveness I lack; not rationality.
 
Posts: 2414 | Location: Humpty Doo NT Australia | Registered: 18 August 2004Reply With Quote
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I heard that one about 40 years ago + it loses nothing in its luster in the retelling.Thanks.


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 4401 | Location: Austin,Texas | Registered: 08 April 2006Reply With Quote
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It's also one of the classics of western music, right up there with the Brandenburg Concerto's and Battle Hymn of the Republic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxaCfJfw6AY&feature=related
 
Posts: 276 | Location: Upstate NY | Registered: 16 December 2003Reply With Quote
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I deal with "common sense challenged" employees all time and have hear many a story on workers comp claims that make me belive this is totally plausible. Its amazing the idiots that are allowed to go work.


Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum
 
Posts: 2605 | Location: Western New York | Registered: 30 December 2003Reply With Quote
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