WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
>>
>>She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the
>>cover of the Wheaties box.
>>Her daughter is on the cover of Business
>>Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
>>And her husband is on
>>the back of the milk carton.
>>
>>
>>WOMEN'S REVENGE
>>
>>"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to
>>purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a
>>television set in her purse.
>>"So, do you always carry your TV
>>remote?" I asked.
>>
>>"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
>>and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
>>
>>
>>UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
>>
>>I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you
>>can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair
>>out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
>>
>>
>>MARRIAGE SEMINAR
>>
>>While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and
>>his wife Grace listened to the
>>instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things
>>that are important to each other." He addressed the man, "Can you
>>describe your wife's favorite flower?"
>>Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, It's
>>Pillsbury, isn't it?
>>
>>The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.
>>
>>
>>CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
>>
>>A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The
>>sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that
>>he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down
>>the correct aisle.
>>
>>A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball
>>of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were
>>looking for some tampons for your wife?
>>He answers, " You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the
>>store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of
>>tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much
>>cheaper.
>>
>>So, I figure if I have to roll my own.............. so does she.
>>
>>(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
>>
>>
>>WIFE VS. HUSBAND
>>
>>A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
>>word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
>>wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
>>goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
>>
>> "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
>>
>>
>>WORDS
>>
>>A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
>>day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be
>>because we have to repeat everything to men...The husband then turned
>>to his wife and asked, "What?"
>>
>>
>>CREATION
>>
>>A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid
>>and so beautiful all at the same time.
>>
>>"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you
>>would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to
>>you!
>>
>>
>>WHO DOES WHAT
>>
>>A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
>>coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you
>>get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
>>coffee. "The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here
>>and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for
>>my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is
>>in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."Husband replies, "I
>>can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened
>>the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it
>>indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
>>