*Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream
on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself
beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a
tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"*

* * * * * * * * * *
* **

*The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in
class. She called on him and said,*
*"Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly
replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!" *

* * *** * * * * ** * * * * *
* * * **

*Little Johnny'skindergarten class was on a field trip to their local
police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of
the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a
picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture
him." Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his
picture ?"*

* * * * * * * * * *
** * * *

*Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched
as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down
the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny
asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because
when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and
in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I
think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ." *

the age of innocence....

On show and tell day, the students were describing their parents' jobs and hobbies. Little Johnny said, "My daddy eats light bulbs." The teacher was skeptical. "Oh yeh", said Johnny. "He told Mom, 'Turn out the light and I'll eat it.' "

(This is a very, very old one.)