Due to my time alone, I finished three books yesterday. And believe me, that's a lot of coloring.

What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.


There's nothing scarier than that split second when you lose your balance in the shower and you think, "They are going to find me naked."

Today, I melted an ice cube with my mind just by staring at it. It took a lot longer than I thought it would.


Struggling to get your wife's attention? Just sit down and look comfortable.


Just sold my homing pigeon on eBay for the 22nd time.


I grew up with Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now there's no jobs, no cash, and no hope. Please don't let anything happen to Kevin Bacon.


Shout-out to everyone who can still remember their childhood phone number but can't remember the password they created yesterday. You are my people.

When I offer to wash your back in the shower, all you have to say is 'yes' or 'no'. Not all this "Who are you and how did you get in here?" nonsense.

I fell in the shower 3 months ago + believe me, it wasn't funny at all. I cracked my head + my wife panicked + called EMS. I was knocked cold as a wedge + when I woke up, there were the EMS guys standing over my naked body. I was fine + looking at the bright side, at least I got a free, blood pressure + sugar tests as well as a concussion test so at least it wasn't all bad, especially since I didn't have to go to the hospital.

quote:

Originally posted by Norman Conquest:
I fell in the shower 3 months ago + believe me, it wasn't funny at all. I cracked my head + my wife panicked + called EMS. I was knocked cold as a wedge + when I woke up, there were the EMS guys standing over my naked body. I was fine + looking at the bright side, at least I got a free, blood pressure + sugar tests as well as a concussion test so at least it wasn't all bad, especially since I didn't have to go to the hospital.

I can identifie,