A Jewish farmer, walking through his hay field, notices a man kneeling down and drinking from his farm pond.


The farmer shouts, 'Trink nicht die wasser. Die keyen haben gesheissen dorten.' (Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the cows shit in it'.



The kneeling man shouts back, angrily, 'I'm a Muslim, I don't understand you. I speak Arabic and English. If you can't speak in the sacred tongue of Islam, speak to me in English.'

The Jewish farmer replies, 'Use two hands, you'll get more.'

When Hitler announced that he was the smartest guy in the 3rd. Reich, the Jewish population of Berlin began a search for their most intelligent member, so to challenge Herr Hitler. They ultimately settled on an old tailer named Max, and presented their challenge.
Hitler said to Max..."OK, Max - I will ask you a question, and if you fail to answer it, you pay me 5000 marks. Then, you may ask ME a question, with the same stakes". Max replied "But Herr Hitler....YOU havethe entire treasury of the 3rd Reich behind you, while I am only a poor tailer." "OK", said Hitler... "not only can YOU ask the 1st question.....but if I answer correctl I will payyou 5000 marks.....then, if you fail MY question later, you only pay me 500 marks." "Right-o", said Max......"What has 10 legs, jumps on your head and has 8 legs, jumps to ground and has 4 legs?" "I have no idea"said Hitler...."Here are 5000 marks." "Me neither", said Max. "Here are 500."

In Italy the answer was "drink slow, it's cold and can be dangerous for your health"