A bald headed man with a wooden leg got an invitation to go to a fancy dress party. Not wanting to go as anything that emphasised his bald head or wooden leg and feeling a bit stumped on what to go as, he decided to write to a fancy dress company and explain his dilema.

So, a week went by, and a package turned up in the mail with a letter that read:

Dear sir, please find enclosed one Pirates outfit. The long flowing hair and Pirates hat will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you'll really look the part.

Well, needless to say our man was extremely annoyed, so sent the Pirates outfit back with a letter saying how this was not what he wanted, please find something more appropriate.

So the second week he receives another parcel with another letter saying:

Dear sir, please find one Monks outfit. The long flowing cloak will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you'll really look great.

Well, by this stage our man is in a real rage. He sends back the Monks outfit with a very terse letter saying how disgusted he is, and get it right next time.

Middle of the third week and another package turns up, but much smaller this time with another letter that reads:

Dear sir. After very careful thought we have come up with this solution. Please find enclosed in the parcel one tin of golden syrup. Tip the tin of golden syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a toffee apple.