Old Cemeteries
A truly Happy Person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. And, one who can enjoy browsing old cemeteries ... Some fascinating things on old tombstones

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany , New York :
Born 1903--Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
car was on the way down. It was.
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In a Thurmont, Maryland , cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up
and no place to go.
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On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in
East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
Only the good die young.
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In a London , England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid
but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767
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In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.
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In a Ruidoso, New Mexico , cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast. - - Pardon him for not rising.
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In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania , cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
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In a Silver City , Nevada , cemetery:
Here lays The Kid,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.
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A lawyer's epitaph in England :
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
and that is Strange.
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John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne,
England , cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.
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In a cemetery in Hartscombe , England :
On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.
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Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls ,
Vermont :
Here lies the body of our Anna,
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
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On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket ,
Massachusetts :
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod,
Pease shelled out and went to God.
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THIS ONE IS EXTREMELY WELL WRITTEN:-
In a cemetery in England :
Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so shall you be, ,Remember this and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I'll not consent,
Until I know which way you went.

Another famous one: I saw this on Boot Hill, outside of Tombstone, Arizona.

"Here lies Lester Moore. Caught four slugs from a 44. No Les no more..."

Sounds like something I saw in the movie Tombstone.

My favorite epitaph : "I told y'all I was sick!"

Actually saw this one.

http://www.waterlooogs.ca/ceme.../RushesCemetery.html

Grizz

Now that was very interesting.

On an interesting side (not humor,so I'll make it short),here in Austin I found by total surprise an old confederate graveyard iron fence,monolithic grave markers,etc. My interest is severe;I will be back. The interesting kicker is that ALL the graves have NEW confederate flags placed bu their resting place.I find that admirable that some people follow the truth of their convictions over heritage than to give in to current public thoughts on P.C.Location not revieled on purpose

In Russia in the early 20th century were very common aliases. They were used as actual names. For example, the real name of Stalin - Dzhugashvili. The stones are often carved both names, real and alias. This led to a funny mistake - in the main cemetery of Moscow there is a gravestone of a person, where in brackets is not written by its official nickname, and a humorous nickname of his youth, and quite offensive type "rigmaroler". (apparently, he didn't have relatives to clarify).

quote:

Dzhugashvili.

If that was my name, I'd be looking at changing it as well.

Grizz

One did.
former Dzhugasvili

- Lars/Finland

Difficulty with pronunciation? Then you are unlikely to be able to order by phone Georgian wines like kindzmarauli or khvanchkara

Probably my favorite cemetary joke:

Two young men were walking home from a dance when one suggested that they take a shortcut through the cemetery. The second protested but the first guy talked him into it. As they were approaching the middle of the cemetery, they heard a tapping sound that raised the hairs on the back of their necks. The first suggested that they check out the source of the sound and the second reluctantly agreed. As they parted some bushes, they saw an old man chiseling something on a headstone. The young men said, "Mister, you nearly scared us to death, we had no idea what was causing that sound. What are you doing anyway?" The old man kept chiseling and said said "Those idiots spelled my name wrong!"

there's a tale of three Irishmen who had stayed a bit too long at the pub one evening. It was at one side of the town, and they lived at the other.

They decided to cut thru the cemetery. As they were walking, they started discussing the age of some of the people buried there.

Seamus says "ah, here lays Mary McDougal, 67 years old."

Andrew says, "ah, here lays John Donall, 81 years old."

As they reach the edge, Paddy McMichael says, "ah, here is the oldest man buried here. Dublin, Miles 116.".