A Modern Day Forest Service Parable


The Old Forest Service and the Modern Forest Service decided to have
a rowing race on the Snake River. Both teams practiced long and
hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day,
the Old Forest Service won by a mile.The Modern Forest Service, very
discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the
crushing defeat.

A team made up of senior management was formed to
investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Old Forest Service had 8 people rowing and 1
person steering,while the Modern Forest Service team had 8 people
steering and 1 person rowing. Feeling a deeper study was in order,
Modern Forest Service management hired a consulting company and paid
them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised, in
the National Rowing Plan, that too many people were steering the boat,
while not enough people were rowing.

Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent
another loss to the Old Forest Service, the rowing team's management
structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area
steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering
manager, with none of them having any rowing experience.

They also implemented a new performance system that would make the 1
person rowing the boat more professional and accountable. It was
called the "IFPM Rowing Team Program," with meetings, classes and
deadlines for the rower and a requirement to take 15 on-line courses.

There was discussion of getting new oars, boats and other
equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses, but it never
occurred to anyone to add additional rowers.

The next year the Old Forest Service won by two miles. Humiliated,
the Modern Forest Service management abandoned the National Rowing
Plan, laid off the rower not meeting the deadline, halted development
of a new rowing boat, sold the oars, and canceled all capital investments
for new equipment.

The money saved was distributed among Regional Offices as
bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to private
contractors.

That definitely sums up the "modern way" of many governmental agencies...

Sounds to me like the pilot project for both the new airport security and the whole Homeland Securty departments, as now implemented. (And both the old and new Pentagon organization charts...)

Sounds to me like the pilot project for both the new airport security and the whole Homeland Securty departments, as now implemented. (And both the old and new Pentagon organization charts...)

Oh my god! I work for the forest service!

I live in Maine. Our government is like that.

Dynamite - I just retired from that agency after 31 years. I really enjoyed it for 15 of em,

Teddy Roosevelt didnt tell his men to charge the damn hill - HE LED THEM !!!!!

375hnh, you a rower or super?
Mike, the 15 years you enjoyed, were you rowing?

I am working on a major contract right now for the National Park Service and they fit this joke exactly. It is almost not funny because it is so sad how they operate and waste everyones time and money. Circle Jerk deluxe.

More like a bailer