Gunshot Accident


Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her
in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some
groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the
driveway with the car running and the windows rolled up. Her eyes were
closed with both hands behind the back of her head. He became
concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes
were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was
okay; Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and
had been holding her brains in for over an hour (at least it seemed
that way to her, it actually had been 15 minutes, she blamed the
inability to tell time on her head injury).

The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because
the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her
head.

When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread
dough on the back of her head. From the back seat a Pillsbury biscuit
canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded
like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head.
When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and
thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly
recovered.

Linda is blonde, a Democrat, and a Biden supporter; but that
could all be a coincidence.

The defective biscuit canister was analyzed and it was determined to
be Trump's fault.

The shame of that story is that with today's snowflakes it could actually be true.

True. Speaking of biscuits there was a young woman who couldn't keep a boyfriend so she went to her mother. Mother says watch + learn. She gets a tin of biscuits, raps it open, throws one on the floor, hikes her skirt, squats + picks it up (w/o the use of hands). She says you practice that you'll have no problem keeping a man. A few weeks later she brings a guy home + just before getting in bed she says she has something to show him. She gets the biscuits, flops one down, squats, + farts. She is so embarrassed + apologetic but the guy just says "No baby don't be sorry; if that sucker will growl at a biscuit, I want to see what it will do with a piece of meat."