When I was 14, all I wanted was a girlfriend.

When I was 16, I dated a girl, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen, she cried all the time and threatened suicide.

So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.

So I decided to find a girl with some ambition. I found a smart, ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

Now all I want is a girl with big tits.

I want one with a nice ass...

Its been said that a woman is nothing more than a life support system for a vagina.
Not by me, of course.

All I want is to be waited on when I call for it and to be left alone otherwise.

From an old texan from his older father...

"If they didn't carry a pussy, there'd be a bounty on them."

Married twice, it makes sense to me!