Redneck Hooker
A redneck was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows.
Twenty dollars", she whispers.
Bubba had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the heck, it's only twenty bucks, so they hide in the bushes.


They're in there for only a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It's a police officer.
What's going on here people?, asks the officer.
I'm making love to my wife!, Bubba answers sounding annoyed.
Oh, I'm sorry, says the cop, I didn't know.

Bubba says, "Well, neither did I, till ya shined that light in her face..

Good one!

Then Bubba Really Got PO'ed When She Would NOT Give Him Back His $5.00.

I did know a guy once, and this is a TRUE story, who was out with a male friend in a pick-up shooting deer at night where they should not have been.

Anyway they successfully get a deer and put it under a canvas sheet in the back of the pick-up and are just about to start the vehicle and leave (their headlights off) when they see a pair of headlights coming along the track towards them. Their ONLY exit!

The Game Wraden has arrived! Steps out his vehicle and walks towards them torch in hand.

Quick as a flash the guy turns to his male friend and says "Kiss me!"

The male friend says "What?"

The guy just repeats "Don't question it just kiss me!"

Game Warden comes up to the window, shines his torch, see them in the "clinch" and says "Oops! Sorry guys! I'm just leaving!"

So quick thinking literally saved their bacon...and their venison!

Eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww