27 May 2014, 03:21
arkypeteTouche!
This happened in France to an Englishman who was totally drunk.
The French policeman stops his Jaguar and asks the gentleman if he has
been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been
drinking all day, that his daughter got married in the morning to a French man,
and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception and a
quite few glasses of single malt there after.
Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcotest (breath test) him and asks the
Englishman if he knows under French Law why he is going to be arrested.
The Englishman answers with humour: No sir, I do not! But while we're asking
questions, do you know that this is a British car and my wife is driving...
on the other side???
28 May 2014, 07:57
NormanConquest
True story;a buddy of mine was speeding in Colorado + got pulled over, The trooper told him he had heard a 100 reasons for speeding. If he did'nt want a ticket,tell him one that he had'nt heard. Wes thought a moment the said,"My wife just called + told me if I was'nt home in 15 minutes,she was fxxking someone else." The cop let him go.
28 May 2014, 08:20
NormanConquestSame buddy,different story. Wes was riding home with Bud after work + frequent stops at the local watering holes. Wes is asleep in the passenger seat,Bud driving ,gets pulled over.After the cops are done making Bud do a jig + walk the line,etc. they go to Wes's door which is still locked + him still asleep.The cop starts to tap the window with his night stick. Wes finally wakes up but still semi comatose does'nt open his eyes + thinks that they are home + Bud is trying to wake him.So he shouts out."Knock it off you G.D. S.O.B.!" When he does open his eyes + sees the cop there,the cop asks him if he's drunk. Being Wes,he replies,"Well what if I am, you G.D. ignorant S.O.B.,you gonna arrest me for sleeping while intoxicated?" Believe me,you can't make this stuff up. I would still be under the jail;but being Wesley he seems to lead a charmed life.Not surprising as I know his Dad,an irascable old fart.WW2 vet,master plumber,crew cut,220 lbs,6'2",khaki work suit,broken nose,you get the general picture,best friend you could have...or worst enemy.More on him at a later point.