My mum says you should have spelt practice with an "s" because it's a verb, not a noun.

My mum's a school teacher and she's gonna smack you three times:
(1) for your Kiwi spelling
(2) for being a Kiwi
(3) 'cause she likes smacking!

I posted this in reply to a comment by a Kiwi because we have made shit-stiring an art Down Under. Here it is as a stand-alone joke:

A Kiwi, an Aussie, a beautiful blond Swedish girl and an old Greek woman are in a train carriage together, going through the Alps.

The train enters a tunnel and the carriage is completely dark. A loud slap is heard in the dark, and when the train exits the tunnel the Kiwi has a bright red hand print on his cheek.

The old woman thinks: that Kiwi must have groped that young girl while we were in the tunnel, so she slapped him.

The young girl thinks: that Kiwi must have tried to grope me while we were in the tunnel and groped the old woman by mistake, so she slapped him.

The Kiwi thinks: that Aussie must have groped that young girl while we were in the tunnel and she thought it was me, so she slapped me. Bastard!

The Aussie thinks: I hope we go through another tunnel soon, so I can hit that Kiwi again!

There's nothing really wrong with Kiwis, except perhaps their affection for first degree relatives!

So you are telling me your mother is your sister ..? And I guess her first name is BaaaaBaaara.

Still wearing the velcro gloves you got for christmas.?

just another example of the strange mating rituals practiced by the Australian male . Cant even figure out his personal gender preferance . Or then again , maybe he has.....

Well, I left myself open to that one! But I hope it serves as a valuable lesson for our fellows about taking things in the "homour" forum are bit more lightly.

And by the way Muzza, at least my mum isn't my cousin,

or my uncle,

or a sheep!

Baa-bye for now!

How old is your mum? Does she enjoy a bit of rough and tumble with younger men? Can you post a picture of her ? Will she let us both get naked before she starts smacking me ?

Sorry about the spelling , given that most Aussies can barely read I didnt think it was that important...

Geez, Muzza, you still sore about that Kiwi joke?

Hey, has New Zealand won a medal at the Olympics yet?

Did you send any athletes?

Did you guys know it was on!?!?

Pity sheep shearing isn't an event!

Our athletes are so poorly funded that they had to hitch hike to Athens . I think most of them havent got out of Auckland yet . Such are the joys of Labour Governments headed by women....

I heard that sheep shearing was going to be an an Olympic sport but then Australia entered a team of ten million contestants and the Greeks didnt have a shearing shed big enough so they called it all off at the last minute.

So what will you do with your velcro gloves with the Olympic symbol and green and gold colours? S'pose they might be handy for covering your own ears so you dont have to listen to the shit you talk.....