13 September 2013, 01:40
vashperPhrases of conductors of orchestras
(may be real, I don't know. And don't shoot in translator)
There are only three rehearsals to shame !
Bassoons is not take in the mouth, and trombones are finished !
The note under the point is that we should do something with it .
This is not a symphony orchestra, here you can not hide in the crowd , you have to play clean!
Need to play as you're a little drunk and not in a hurry .
Guys, this is "cuckoo sounds", rather than the approach of enemy aircraft !
And if someone has played out of tune , the main thing - to have time to look reproachfully at the neighbor .
See by one eye in the party, and by two on me !
Come home and do so that your whole family know how to play it ...
Women's Choir ! Sing along with your brains.
This opus you had to soak up with your teacher's milk !
Tell me , please, that you are now after playing so Conservatory ? I'm going there tomorrow , strangle the rector and will require that he have taken away your diploma !
People playing out of tune , should be put in jail along with counterfeiters .
You better beat the drums by head , it would be louder .
Stop staring at the neckline flutist , there's no music , your party on the desk !
Trumpeters , you sit upper than trombones, but they , unlike you - the men !
How is necessary to hate each other , as you play so!
Why did not somebody explain you in childhood than the pipe is different from the Scout furnace ?
Shostakovich was not a boxer , but for this playing it would be resurrected and stuffed you face!
And what fool told you that your place on the stage , not on a construction site?
For a solo I would kiss you , it's a pity you are sitting so far. Waiting for you at 10 am tomorrow in my office .
Drummers always try to consider themselves the most important in the orchestra ! Remember: the main
in orchestra - Director , the second - I , and you - in the first hundred !
I have the impression that in the pipes - obstruction . Refer to the gynecologist !
If you would play like the first time, I'll kill you all one by one, bury, Spend term in jail , and then will recruite the new band!
You , my dear, play with such expression , as if , except for Cello , you have never hold something between your legs in your life !
You're not afraid to go to the second branch ? Say "thank you" that only intellectuals go to the conservatory . And then the proletariat would rise up from their seats and stuffed faces to all of you for this playing !
The second trombone , I want to wish you , that at your funeral so played!
I will ask the scribers to write the party bigger for idiots !
I promise you a job in the underpass , and personally make arrangements with the cops and gangsters , that they did not touch you . But I can not vouch for the passers-by .
Would you have instead the saxophone - a chainsaw "Friendship" in hand . Sound the same , and more money !
You have a very beautiful , strong hands . Put the tool and strangle yourself with them , do not mock the music !
When you get home , send my condolences to your wife . How can she sleep with so non-rhitmic man?
You play this so familiarly as if you personally had drinking with Prokofiev !
Tell me , do not you ashamed? Better if you messed up the air than this great place in Adagio !
I stop all sorts of ceremonies and today I'll begin to teach you to love, if not me , then at least the music!
After concert, you have to go to church and ask God for forgiveness. And do not forget the sacrifice for temple .