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Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911--You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R." Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R -Allah be Praised !!" Dallas ATC "Tower to Iran Air 711--You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R." Iran Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. -Allah is Great !!" Pause: Static............. Saudi Air: "DALLAS ATC! DALLAS ATC!!!" Dallas ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 911?" Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS!!! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE!!! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!! Dallas ATC: "Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah 'hey' for us -- ya hear?." Moral: (DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS ! ) Smedley ______________________ Smedley  ______________________ From Audacity of Hope: 'I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction.' B.H.Obullshitter ------------------------------------ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery" Winston Churchill ------------------------------------ "..it does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds.." Samuel Adams ------------------------------------ Facts are immaterial to liberals. Twisted perceptions however are invaluable. ------------------------------------ We Americans were tired of being thought of as dumb, by the rest of the world. So we went to the polls in November 2008 and removed all doubt.....let's not do it again in 2012 please. | ||
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Not to be picky, but Iran 711 would be cleared for runway 27 Left, the other way on 09 Right. The year of the .30-06!! 100 years of mostly flawless performance on demand.....Celebrate...buy a new one!! | |||
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Not to be more picky, but DFW has no east/west (09/27) runways. # Runway 17L/35R is 8,500 feet long # Runway 17C/35C is 13,400 feet long # Runway 17R/35L is 13,400 feet long # Runway 18L/36R is 13,400 feet long # Runway 18R/36L is 13,400 feet long # Runway 13L/31R is 9,000 feet long # Runway 13R/31L is 9,300 feet long If a day goes by when you don't learn something - it was a Total Loss! | |||
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Smedley:  As a charter member of the "white knuckle" club - and, of course,not a pilot I cannot criticize the technical errors of what I thought you were telling as a joke. It reminded me of a joke I heard many years ago from a REAL flier. ( I'll omit the official lingo of how pilots talk to a control tower) A pilot of a twin engine is talking to the control tower. He explains that he is nearly 300 miles out over the ocean. He only has about 10 gallons of gas left. He says in a voice beginning to get panic stricken: " What do I do?" The control tower speaks in a comforting voice: " Don't panic. Now repeat after me in a slow voice: " Our Father who art in heaven...." | |||
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 Cheers, Dave. Aut Inveniam Viam aut Faciam. | |||
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