I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day.
We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "magic".
"Wow!" I said. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me."
She just giggled and said she was sure I'd "rise" to the challenge.
"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches Wider these days!"
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that she thought that tubby bald men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to fork off.