(Ordinarily I don't tell "Irish" jokes but this one caught my eye)

Mary Clancy approached Father Sullivan after the Sunday morning Mass. She was obviously very upset and Father Sullivan was immediately sympathetic.

Mary says tearfully: " Oh, Father, my husband died suddenly last night!"

Father Sullivan is sympathetic,of course and then asks:" Did he have any last requests?"

Mary says: " Aye, he did. He said "Mary, put down that gun!".

Patrick and Seamus were the best of friends, and had been friends all their lives.

One day at a bar Pat and Seamus were enjoying a nice bottle of Irish Whiskey together and Patrick looked over to Seamus and told him.

"Seamus, you and I have been friends a long time, haven't we?"

"Aye Patrick," Seamus replied, "All our lives."

"Well Seamus, would you mind if I ask you a favor then? This is important to me."

"Not at all Patrick, anything you ask, just name it."

"Well," starts Patrick, "you know how I dearly love this fine Irish Whiskey. I was thinking, just now, that when I die, I'd like to take some of it with me. So Seamus, when I'm gone, will you promise me you'll take a bottle of this Irish Whiskey here, and pour it out on me grave?"

Seamus thinks for a moment then replies, "Well Patrick, you know I've always been a friend to ya, and that's certainly a small thing to ask, and I'd consider it an honor my friend. But let me ask you one thing, it seems a shame to just pour out such a fine bottle of whiskey, so would ya mind if I run it through me kidneys first?"

Mick + Pat are talking at Mick's wedding.Mick says,"You know Pat,I've been to bed with every woman here ,excepting my future wife,sister,+ mother of course." Pat replies,"Well not to worry then,between the two of us,we've had 'em all.