"My sister Tiffany is a blonde, at least that's what the bottle told her that she'd be. She went to one of these fancy fashion sales, and was admiring a pair of alligator skin boots. She tried them on, unfortunately, like Cinderella's ugly step-sisters, they didn't fit her. 'What sort of boots are these?' She asked the Salesperson, (I'm not allowed to say Sales Lady, mainly because it was a bloke, although sometimes it's hard to tell with these guys). 'It's alligator.' He told her. 'Are you getting any more?' Tiffany asked. 'No, unfortunately we cannot get any more alligator boots, the US has banned the export of alligator skins so that we can make our own. While we can only get the finished product, we aren't happy with the design choices that are open to us.' 'That's too bad, I really, truly want a pair of these lovely boots.' She was about to walk away when an idea hit her right between the eyes. 'These boots come from America, right?' 'Yes they do.' 'Where abouts in America?' she asked him. 'Either from the Bayou country in Louisiana, or the Everglades in Florida.' She went off and bought herself a ticket on a QANTAS flight to Los Angeles, then a Delta flight to New Orleans. While in New Orleans she visited a gun shop. 'I want to do some alligator hunting, what's the best gun to use?' She asked the sales clerk. 'This here rifle will stop any ole gator dead in his tracks, Ma'am.' 'I'll take it, and I want plenty of bullets, give me two boxes to start with.' Off she went, armed to the teeth with enough firepower to shoot up a high school. A week later she was back in the store to buy more ammunition. "Hell lady, you must be some kind of poor shot if'n you ain't shot a gator by now.' The clerk said. "I've been hitting them okay, just not the right ones.' She told him. So the clerk decided to follow her to see what the problem was. There she was walking along the banks of the swamp, when she spies a big old gator. 'She's gotta be happy with that one, that's sure as hell one big mother fucking gator.' The clerk said to himself as she sighted down the barrel at the alligator, BAM! The noise was deafening. There was barely a twitch from the gator, it just floated there, dead. Tiffany jumps into the water and rolls the alligator over onto its back. 'Fuck,' she sobbed, 'this fucking alligator isn't wearing boots either!'

funny but could use some paragraphs

Yes,Tiffany is a blonde,if not natural at least in spirit.

If you really want to know whether or not Tiffany is a natural blonde, just stand her on her head. . . .

Checking to see if the drapes match the carpet,eh?

quote:

Originally posted by NormanConquest:
Checking to see if the drapes match the carpet,eh?

Not a lot of carpet left out there these days , but sure a lot of hardwood floors

Yep, beaver gone
Used to be everywhere, but some fashion nazi ruined it for us.
Damn, nothing like some good ole hairy beaver that no amount of underwear could hide