"An older lady gets pulled over for speeding"...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there e a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Still good. When I saw the title I thought you might be adhering to the disputed quote of Benjamin Franklin or Mark Twain concerning elder women;
they don't yell
They don't swell,
+ they're grateful as hell.

I stopped a 81yoa woman speeding in a 55mph zone she was doing 81mph as she passed a truck doing 70.

When I asked her why she was going so fast she said I had to go that fast the truck was doing 70.

Remember it was in a 55mph zone

Then theres the one about the HP that trailed a speeder several miles until he pulled over. + was asked why he tried to outrun the LEO, he replied, "2 years ago my wife ran off with a state trooper, + I thought that was you bringing her back."

Now heres a true story (maybe). A buddy of mine was pulled over in Boulder ,Colorado for speeding + the cop says, "I've got over 100 reasons for speeding, if you don't want a ticket, tell me one I haven't heard. Wesley thought for a minute the said, "My wife just called + said that if I was not home in 10 minutes, she's fucking somebody else." He let him go.