A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerks called an ambulance when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency Open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard Loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to Pay for his treatment. "Do you have health insurance?" she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance." The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?" He replied, "No money in the bank." Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the Irritated nun. He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun." The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God." The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."

Only a fool pisses off the nurses caring for him…

But yeah, I’ve heard that joke before…

I agree

All he has to do is ask his Brother In-law

I know that when I went in for my vasectomy, I made it plain to the Dr. that whatever his political leanings, that they were the same as mine; with a big smile!

quote:

Originally posted by crbutler:
Only a fool pisses off the nurses caring for him…

But yeah, I’ve heard that joke before…

Unfortunately, that's how American health care works.

Grizz

quote:

Originally posted by Grizzly Adams1:

quote:

Originally posted by crbutler:
Only a fool pisses off the nurses caring for him…

But yeah, I’ve heard that joke before…

Unfortunately, that's how American health care works.

Grizz

Some are getting really sick when they see the bill. No cure for that decease except a big bag full of Benjamins.
Lots of american are affraid to go to the doctor even though they have defects. The bill can litteratly throw them into the streets.

Good one!

The problem with going to a doctor is that there is no longer "HEALTH CARE" it is now called "BIG BUSINESS" There are no longer doctors---there are conglarimates(sp)!

If you go to a doctor he sends you to a specialist, that specialist sends you to another specialist ETC.,ETC., ETC. until you end up with your original doctor, a lot lighter in the pocket book and no healthier!

Been there----done that!

Hip

I was born in a Catholic hospital. The nuns sent me home with the wrong family. That got sorted eventually, but years later, different nuns were trusted with my education and they beat me with sticks. I was a recalcitrant child.

quote:

Originally posted by crbutler:
Only a fool pisses off the nurses caring for him…

But yeah, I’ve heard that joke before…

Back in 1972 I had to have emergency knee surgery. I woke up 3 days after the surgery strapped to the bed. I had a violent reaction to the anesthetic and had to be placed in restraints to prevent me from constantly removing my IV needles.

A hematoma had formed under the incision, causing my leg to expand 3x under the pressure of the pooling blood. Since my leg was in a cast, no one could see it. After 5 days of constantly requesting more Demerol, the nurses decided I was a drug addict, and when they would come to administer the injection, they would jam the needle into the side of my upper leg, pretty much the way you would hammer a nail into wood.

I finally convinced the doctor after 7 days that something was wrong and he sawed through the cast and watched it get pushed back 5 inches by the swollen leg inside. He probed the incision and a stream of blood shot 3 feet into the air. After that, no more pain, no more Demerol and the nurses sheepishly avoided me for the next two days.

quote:

Originally posted by lavaca:
I was born in a Catholic hospital. The nuns sent me home with the wrong family. That got sorted eventually, but years later, different nuns were trusted with my education and they beat me with sticks. I was a recalcitrant child.

That is painfully funny. To survive that sort of thing is a victory in itself.

When I was in the eighth grade, I set the school record for corporal punishment. I was a recidivist of the worst kind.

IIRC, I received more than ten "swats" on the ass with wooden paddles swung like baseball bats. The swats were typically administered once per alleged crime. No proof needed, just an allegation.

These days, the teachers would be charged with crimes for what they did to me. I have no hard feelings, except for a few times, when I was actually innocent.

Yet these days, the children are worse, not better, for their treatment with kid gloves.

quote:

Originally posted by Michael Robinson:

quote:

Originally posted by lavaca:
I was born in a Catholic hospital. The nuns sent me home with the wrong family. That got sorted eventually, but years later, different nuns were trusted with my education and they beat me with sticks. I was a recalcitrant child.

That is painfully funny. To survive that sort of thing is a victory in itself.

When I was in the eighth grade, I set the school record for corporal punishment. I was a recidivist of the worst kind.

IIRC, I received more than ten "swats" on the ass with wooden paddles swung like baseball bats. The swats were typically administered once per alleged crime. No proof needed, just an allegation.

These days, the teachers would be charged with crimes for what they did to me. I have no hard feelings, except for a few times, when I was actually innocent.

Yet these days, the children are worse, not better, for their kid glove treatment.

That is why he became a lawyer.

To exact revenge on the world!

Haha, Saeed.

Not so fast.

My hard upbringing made me a true champion of justice.

All I have ever done in my life is try to keep people out of trouble.

Ask anyone.

Before this touchy/feely world of promised utopia, we had a world of reality that said that if a kid fxxked up his parents whipped his ass, + right on down the road + thus, we ended up with responsible citizens. Now however, we are in trouble due to the current "compassion to the wicked". I recall the judges edict in the late 19th century, " We do not hang men for stealing horses; we hang men so that horses will not be stolen!"

Mike:

Having been there with a couple other kids it's an experience no one should ever be put thru.

Two of us knew a early 20's year old husky mental case that called us his best friends. We told him about it and who did it. He went to the school and asked for the guy by name.

Then proceeded to beat the bastard to a pulp enough he ended up in the hospital for a couple weeks. He told us he told the guy: "don't ever hit my friends with that board again".

Being a mental case nothing could be done about it. That time payback was mighty sweet.

George

I hear you, George. I would not want to piss you off!

In my case, I was no criminal. I just stood up for myself.

Some in authority do not appreciate that.

Hey Mike:

I read awhile back something I feel fits.

"the older we get, the less a
"Lifetime Sentence" means".

Cheers on this side of 1/1/22.

"hang onto your perch!"

George

quote:

Originally posted by georgeld:
Mike:

Having been there with a couple other kids it's an experience no one should ever be put thru.

Two of us knew a early 20's year old husky mental case that called us his best friends. We told him about it and who did it. He went to the school and asked for the guy by name.

Then proceeded to beat the bastard to a pulp enough he ended up in the hospital for a couple weeks. He told us he told the guy: "don't ever hit my friends with that board again".

Being a mental case nothing could be done about it. That time payback was mighty sweet.

George

I've worked with people of "limited intelligence capacity ". You have to be careful what you say to them because they take things very literally.

Grizz

A few years ago I was getting a steel delivery from Houston + they had put on a day laborer hand to help unload the truck. This guy was dumber than a box of rocks. When the truck driver was about to release the hold-down chains he asked if everyone was clear. O.K. He releases the boomer + the chain shoots over the flat top bed, hitting this guy flat in the forehead, knocking him to the ground. He gets up + says, "You hurt me," Hell, it would have killed me.