I started the day late after driving around town chasing some canning lids and I was thinking by golly I have simply got to get to some of these weeds in the garden.

It was High Noon when I got back, but I'm thinking I'm tough so I grabbed me ole pardner, a Resistol Panama straw with the 1940s Cattleman's Bend Oklahoma Special. You know the kind, just like Hop-a-Long used to wear and went out of style with pointy toed boots and Elvis Presley's side burns. WAAAAAAY Cool.

So I meander out me patch and tied Trigger up to a cornstalk and looky there, a nice fat cucumber. And, looky here what I see, about 10 of the purdyest Tabasco peppers standing up tall like miniature Screaming Meanie Red Whistler bottle rockets. So I grabbed those and moseyed on over to the bean trellis. I was having to look up in the sky picking beans looking almost straight into the sun. Sweat was pouring into my eyes so hard It got to were I couldn't see so I wiped the sweat out of my eyes and continued on with my chores and thinking that I must be eating to much salt as that sweat is burning. Burning. BURNING, I mean REALLY BURNING. Yikes, the peppers!

After the second lap of circling the garden on my hands and knees I finally found the end of the garden hose. Yep, you know it, turned the nozzle and for once in my life I had remembered to turn the water was off. I was thinking that this will at least lead me back to the house. So hand over hand I go on the garden hose. Then something whacked me in the head on the way. Not sure, but I think it might have been a garden rake. I finally reached the house and ran inside and got the facet running on my eyes. After about 30 minutes of crying and blubbering I could partially see again and found my corneas lying in the bottom of the sink. So I stuck those back on and was blinking looking out the kitchen window and thinking to myself. Those weeds don't look so bad. You know what, they really don't look that bad at all. Yes, those are some DAMN FINE LOOKING WEEDS.

I'm done for the day and I don't care if Charlie Brown's Great Pumpkin voluteered to sprout up ready made dead center of the garden. I was lying in bed afterwards with the AC on full blast and Irish tater slices sitting on my eyes and thinking to mesef about what you guys said about cowboys.

Funny how a couple of the tiniest little peppers not 2 inches long made me feel like I was All Hat and NO COWBOY. I think me old trusty hat is still lying in the back yard somewhere where it can sure enough spend the night. Tough guy.................. pffffffffffttt