> >I REALLY like creative thinking
> >
> >
> > ANGER MANAGEMENT
> >
> > When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
it out on
> > someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone
you don't
> > know.
> >
> > I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
make. I
> > found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
> >
> > I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn
Carter?"
> >
> > Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right freakin'
number!" and
> > the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could
be so
> > rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found
that I had
> > accidentally transposed the last two digits.
> >
> > After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the
> > same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
> >
> > I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it
in my
> > desk drawer.
> >
> > Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call
> > him up and yell, " You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
> >
> > When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
calling would
> > have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith
from the
> > Telephone Company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller
ID
> > Program?! "
> >
> > He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
and said,
> > "That's because you're an asshole!"
> >
> > One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot
and some
> > guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently
waited
> > for.
> >
> > I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the
idiot
> > ignored me.
> >
> > I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his
number.
> >
> > A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (by this
time I
> > had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW
asshole,
> > too.
> >
> > I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
> >
> > "Yes, it is", he said.
> >
> > "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
> >
> > "Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house, and
the car's
> > parked right out in front."
> >
> > "What's your name?" I asked.
> >
> > "My name is Don Hansen," he said
> >
> > "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
> >
> > "I'm home every evening after five."
> >
> > "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
> >
> > "Yes?"
> >
> > "Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my
speed dial,
> > too.
> >
> > Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up
with an
> > idea. I called Asshole #1. "Hello."
> >
> > "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
> >
> > "Are you still there?" he asked.
> >
> > "Yeah," I said.
> >
> > "Stop calling me," he screamed.
> >
> > "Make me," I said.
> >
> > "Who are you?" he asked.
> >
> > "My name is Don Hansen."
> >
> > "Yeah? Where do you live?"
> >
> > "Asshole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my
black
> > Beamer parked in front."
> >
> > He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your
> > prayers."
> >
> > I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, Asshole," and hung up. Then I
called
> > Asshole #2.
> >
> > "Hello?" he said.
> >
> > "Hello, Asshole," I said!
> >
> > He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
> >
> > "You'll what?" I said.
> >
> > "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
> >
> > I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
now."
> >
> > Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
34
> > Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way home to kill my gay
lover.
> >
> > Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Mowbray
Blvd,
> > Vaucluse. I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray.
> >
> > I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of
each
> > other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news
crew.
> >
> > NOW I feel much better.
> >
> Anger management really works
>

THIS

is a very good story!

God, would I love to do that.

Best laugh I've had all day!

Too D@mn funny!!!

EA