Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch
the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe
he had a cold or something. But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam
really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the
park, Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had
happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and-- lo and behold!--there sat Russ! Sam was very excited and
happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the
world happened to you?'

Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.'

'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for?'

'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'

'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?

'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud
that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'.

'Damned judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'