Nah, it's my ex - and she's Australian born of German/Yugoslav (Serbian) parents.

I recently had an opportunity to go fishing. As I sat in my boat enjoying the quiet, a hot air balloon caught my eye. The piolt droped elevation and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised the rest of my party I would meet them hours ago, but I don't know where I am." Not wanting to leave the man hanging over my head I consulted my portable GPS unit and replied, "You're riding in a hot air balloon approximately 45 feet above a ground elevation of 4,450 feet above sea level... You are so many degrees north latitude and so many degrees west longitude." The pilot rolled his eyes and said, "You must be a Republican." I replied, "yes, I am. "How did you know?" "Well," answerd the pilot, " everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of you information, and I'm still lost... Frankly, you as most Republicans, have not been much help to me." I smiled and responded, "You are a true Democrat." "I am," replied the pilot. "How can you tell?" "Well," said I, "you dont know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quanity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's MY fault."

I'll bet the guy in the balloon was Mort.