Its so cold outside I saw a Democrat with his hands in his OWN pockets for once!!!

I saw 2 Beagle dogs with jumper cables, trying to start a rabbit!

It's so cold my cows wouldn't let me milk them unless I was wearing mittens !

It was so cold in Nebraska, in the 50s, that if you yelled a Christmas greeting to your neighbor it would be spring until he heard it.

Jim

Yeah, it's so cold here, this morning I had to pry my dog off my truck tire...

And it is so cold here in central AZ that I've had to start wearing long-sleeved shirts!

(But it's supposed to warm back up in the next few days to normal winter weather here...mid 60s to low 70s.)

The FJ read 7-degrees at noon when we got out of church today.

I know, it's not funny...

It was so cold once, when I went camping.

When I woke up in the morning our sleeping bags were full of the most beautiful small round silvery ice spheres. Just like Christmas tree decorations.

But when we held them up to the storm lantern to have a look they all went...."phaaaarrrt".

It is so, so cold I'd even crawl under the covers with YOUR wife.

It's so cold that even the snakes are trying to stomp their feet and wave their arms.

It's so cold that Superman is wearing long pants over his shorts.

It's so cold that the Jews are sewing ear flaps on their yarmulke.

It's so cold the prostitutes are salting their thongs to keep their customers from slipping on the ice.

It's so cold the Cubans are walking to Miami

It's so cold you can hear the report before you see the flash

Now that's cold!!!

It's so cold when I stepped outside with a cup of coffee it froze so fast the ice was still warm.

Mart

Mart


ya beat me to that one --

quote:

Originally posted by Idaho Sharpshooter:
The FJ read 7-degrees at noon when we got out of church today.

I know, it's not funny...

I wish!! -30C (-22F) here this morning -42C (-43.6F) with the windchill...now that's cold!!! And really not funny whatsoever

THE question dear friends:

Is it cold enough to crawl in bed with Bill Clinton's wife?

It would never be cold enough to do that one!

It depends on what you mean by it. My ex girlfriend got to be so cold that every time I went to part her legs the furnace kicked on.

Cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table!

It was so cold here in Woodstock, that the PETA chapter had to put three brass monkeys out of their misery!

It was so cold, I went to pee outside and I shot myself in the foot with an icicle.

It was so cold I stepped into my freezer to warm up.

It was so cold I was grating the butter over my toast.

It was so cold the ladies were filling their douche bags with anti-freeze.

Colder then a witches teat in a brass bra.

Its colder than a pile of penguin poop!!!

Colder'n a brass toilet on the shady side of an iceberg!

Colder than a well digger's ass in the Klondike...

quote:

Originally posted by Idaho Sharpshooter:
Colder than a well digger's ass in the Klondike...

I drilled wells in another life it can get cold on the rig for sure.

It is colder than a mother in laws kiss... :-)

Too COLD!

Once when I was stationed in Alaska some of us went out hunting in the middle of the winter and we had to stop and build a fire to warm up. But it was so cold that the fire froze, and we had to build a second fire to thaw the first one out!

I was offered a blowjob



and I refused.



It was teeth-chattering cold.

We're not too worried about a super-cold Christmas here....

Skies and ground are perfectly clear and today it is 70° F, tomorrow (Christmas) it is predicted to be 72°. ...70° forecast again for Boxing Day.

This is why we put up with all those 120°+ summer days.

quote:

Originally posted by Idaho Sharpshooter:
THE question dear friends:

Is it cold enough to crawl in bed with Bill Clinton's wife?

You'd get even colder ....

quote:

Originally posted by Alberta Canuck:
And it is so cold here in central AZ that I've had to start wearing long-sleeved shirts!

(But it's supposed to warm back up in the next few days to normal winter weather here...mid 60s to low 70s.)

Was in Arizona a couple of times and discovered it's easy to tell the locals. They're ones with jackets when its 70 dg. F

quote:

Was in Arizona a couple of times and discovered it's easy to tell the locals. They're ones with jackets when its 70 dg.

That's what I tell my wife when we are in AZ if you want to look like a local put a jacket on

quote:

Originally posted by p dog shooter:

quote:

Was in Arizona a couple of times and discovered it's easy to tell the locals. They're ones with jackets when its 70 dg.

That's what I tell my wife when we are in AZ if you want to look like a local put a jacket on

10-4! Right on. It was 73°F at my house here in Cave Creek on Christmas day this year. And I have been wearing long-sleeved Pendleton wool shirts in the house, even with the thermostat set at 75°F. When I go outside, even travelling in he car, I also wear my jacket over the wool shirt, and have on my old RCMP baseball-style cap.

In the summer here, I turn the thermostat down to 80°F at night for easy sleeping, but I don't take my electric blanket or down comforter off of the bed.

But it is whatever one's body acclimates to. When I used to live in Edmonton, I would walk on Jasper Avenue from 109th Street to my favorite restaurant at about Jasper and 105th street with just a white dress shirt and light weight trousers, and dress shoes with rubber overshoes when it was -5°F and a mild breeze blowing, in relative comfort...no jacket or cap of any kind.

It was 60 this morning in Yuma had to put a jacket on for sure. The locals had down coats on.

quote:

But it is whatever one's body acclimates to. When I used to live in Edmonton, I would walk on Jasper Avenue from 109th Street to my favorite restaurant at about Jasper and 105th street with just a white dress shirt and light weight trousers, and dress shoes with rubber overshoes when it was -5°F and a mild breeze blowing, in relative comfort...no jacket or cap of any kind.

I tell every body that one knew that it has been cold when you step out and decide you have to take your jacket off because your to hot.

Then you look at the temp and it says 0F it comes normally after two or three weeks if -30f or colder