Democratic National Convention, Agenda 2008



7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.
7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to U.N.
7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:30 - 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.
8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging.
8:15-8:30 P.M. Gay Wedding, Barney Frank Presiding.
8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally. Cindy Sheehan, Susan Sarandon
9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender. Presented by French President Jacques Chirac
9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund
9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay. Presented by Sean Penn
9:40 P.M. Why I hate the Military. A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton
9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award. Presented by Michael Moore
9:55 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
10:00 P.M. How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers. Presented by Howard Dean
10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahnadinejad
11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents Internet
11:15 P.M. Our Troops are War Criminals. Presented by John Kerry
11:30 P.M. Coronation Of Mrs. Rodham Clinton
12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

I think the best line was the last.

What was the old line? More people have died in Teddy Kennedies car than in ....

I can imagine the press coverage:
"Gala historic convention is a huge success"