Installation Instructions -

1. Go to "Goodwill" and buy a pair of 14 - 16 men's work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine.

3. Put four large dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Attach a note to your front door that reads:

"Bubba,

Me and Big Don, Junior, and Billy Bob, went to the Super Walmart for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.

Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think "Psycho" took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood, and you know how he is. Last week it was that salesman and this week the mailman. We're gonna have to do somethin'. Anyway, I locked all four of them in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.

Cooter"

Then you have to hope the cretin can read

quote:

Originally posted by Rolland:
Then you have to hope the cretin can read

Have it Spanish too!

quote:

Have it Spanish too!

Might also consider it in Chinese as well.

pretty sure your required by international law to also have it in French.

Yeah, let's do our best not to get the ACLU involved.

I saw another one where there was a beef bone stuck into a sneaker + left on the porch. A picture is worth more than illiterate words. I know that's a contradiction in terms......anywhere but here; where bubba lives right down the road. I must confess after being robbed I will not tolerate it again. The word has gone out + when any of my eldest sons come out looking for car parts.etc. They make a lot of noise. I kinda like the legend going around that I will shoot anyone on this property. It scares the hell out of the locals + keeps them away. There's a lot to be said about living in the country with no interruptions. But in all reality + fun besides; when one has a reputation, why not pop off a couple of caps + watch them scramble. The tales I could tell of the city folks that come out here thinking that they are equal.