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The whole Venus and Mars Thing
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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her we went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet
when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No
honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.


-----------------------------
Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving
cabs and cutting hair. ~George Burns
 
Posts: 367 | Location: former western part of Berlin, Germany | Registered: 25 August 2001Reply With Quote
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So now she knows how it feels...
 
Posts: 2758 | Location: Fernley, NV-- the center of the shootin', four-wheelin', ATVin' and dirt-bikin' universe | Registered: 28 May 2003Reply With Quote
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Sir, I bow down to you as the master... now the question- was this you, or is this a 2nd hand story?


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