Q: Why do Scottish shepherds wear kilts?
A: Zippers make the sheep nervous

Q: Why do Iraqi soldiers carry two pieces of sandpaper in their pockets?
A: One is a picture of home; the other is a map of the area
Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported
because they live on an island.

Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.

Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.

Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.

An Irishman bought a mobile phone. While he was
showing it off in

the pub, the phone rang. He answered it only to hear his wife's voice on the other end."Yikes!" he remarked, "How did you
know I was here?"

A man is walking down the street carrying a pole-vault under his arm.
Another man runs up to him and asks in an excited voice: "Are you a pole-vaulter?"He replies: "No, I'm Ukrainian, but how the heck
did you know my name was Walter?"

Did you hear about the Irishman who crossbred a pig with a Labrador?
He got an animal that fetches garbage.