South American forests might not be as treacherous as those in some other parts of the world, but you still have to be very careful. There is a little-known travel advisory in and around the Amazon basin about severe and sometimes fatal health issues arising from contact with the fecal material of a somewhat rare bird.

This bird is called the fiu (pronounced "few") and it is a small, colorful wren-like bird. This bird's diet consists mainly of the berries of one of the plants from which natives derive their poison arrow toxins. The birds are immune to these toxins, however human beings have died very quickly from even a miniscule amount. Since the husks of these toxic plants are somewhat abrasive, and wiping the bird's fecal matter off your skin carelessly could force some of the toxins into your blood stream, the health advisory is stern:

Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to remove any of this bird's feces from your skin! Seek medical help as soon as possible, mainly in one of the hospitals in the large cities.

So around the Amazon basin, there is a very appropriate saying which could well save your life:

"If the fiu shits, wear it!"

Happy belated April Fool's!

Oh, where is that groan font !

I'll probably be the first member ever to be banned because of my bad jokes.

No you won't. I got there first. BTW,I remember that joke from when I was in the Boy Scouts during the dark ages.

Correct! I call it "vintage humor."
Cynics call it "old jokes."