Subject: UPS Pilots (> Just in case you need a laugh:

> Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high
> school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly
> routinely in our jobs.
>
> After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,'
> which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
> correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then
> pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
>
> Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
> some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with
> a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance
> engineers.
>
> By the way,UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
> accident.
>
>
>
>
>
> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
> *
> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
> *
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
> *
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on back-order.
> *
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute
> descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> *
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
> *
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
> *
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what friction locks are for.
> *
> P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
> S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.
> *
> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> S: Suspect you're right.
> *
> P: Number 3 engine missing.
> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
> *
> P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
> *
> P: Target radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics..
> *
> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.
> *
> And the best one for last
> *
> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
> pounding on something with a hammer.
> S: Took hammer away from the midget.
>
>
ol

Those are great! I am a UPS delivery driver and we have the same report except it's a DVIR so I know what you are talking about. One of our mechanics told me 95% of vehicle problems are caused by the loose nut between the drivers seat and steering wheel.

I deliver to one of our pilots and he once told me "I fly to live and live to fly".

who told you that you needed a college degree to get a pilot's license? You don't even need a HS diploma or a GED. You just need to pass flight school.

Rich

The "Joke Police" have weighed in......

quote:

Originally posted by Norton:
The "Joke Police" have weighed in......

And all you need to be a troll is a computer and a snotty attitude.

The joke is funny even though I have read it 50 other times on other forums and someone changes it each time.

UPS has had accidents with fatalities. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UPS_Airlines

I am a college drop-out and working on my pilot's license. I also know how to use google and am not a troll that makes stuff up.

Ranb