A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blondes
are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on.She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said,

Wait For It...

....FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

My grandmother's old friend moved here and my grandmother paid a visit. She smelled something terrible and asked what it was . The cheese, it says to store it " UNDER REFRIGERATION "

My ex-mother in law,dead now but I love her still. She loved me but had no use for her daughter (good taste).Went in the grocery store once + asked the clerk "where is the feegeers ceeffee" she stopped + tried again + said the same thing then turned around + walked out of the store.She told of the time she was making a piece of toast + there was a pair of dirty socks in the butter dish,so she went to the laundry hamper + guess where the butter was.She was a sweetheart but could not remember anything.I do miss her (not the daughter)

Addendum;I took Theresa (my MIL) to the grocery store + she told me up front that she always seemed to pick the slowest lanes. She decided,before(I could pick) a check out line.We get behind a little old lady with a fist full of coupons + paying in change;mostly pennies. Really! You can't make this up.After leaving the grocery store,Theresa said,I told you so.I told her that we were never going shopping again. (a policy that is found in concept dealing with any woman)!