In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more
than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced
every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet
first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting
in a Pecos saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man
seated at the bar who had the reputation of being the fastest gun in
the West in his day. The young cowboy took the seat next to the
old-timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great
ambition. "Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.

The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing
you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a lil' lower down on
your leg." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young
man."Sure will." said the old-timer. The young man did as he was told,
stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie off the piano
player. "That's terrific!" said the cowboy, "Got any more tips for me?"

"Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the
hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw." "Will that make me a
better gunfighter?" asked the younger man. "You bet it will," said the
old-timer. The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up,
drew his gun in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player.
"Wow!" said the cowboy. "I'm learning' somethin' here. Got any more
tips?"

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that
axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it." The young man went over
to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.
"No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and
all." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
"Nope." said the old timer, "But when Wyatt Earp gets done playin' the
piano, he's going to shove that gun right up your ass, and it won't
hurt as much."

I like that one