LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a 44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."

Credit where credit is due

The Wolf deservered that talking a sword to a gunfight, Little Red had it right.

Or...
Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the woods when the Big Bad Wolf jumped out. He said, "Little Red Riding Hood, I'm going to eat you!"
Little Red, with a sour look on her face, replied, "Eat, Eat, Eat. Doesn't anyone just plain Fuck any more?"