NAMES:

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer
>to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.


EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in
a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
>

MONEY:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

>A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

>..............................................>
>BATHROOMS:
>
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

>..............................................
>
>ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

>..........................................................
>
CATS:
>
Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men
>kick cats.

..........................................................
>
FUTURE:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

>..........................................................
>
SUCCESS:

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man
>
>..........................................................

MARRIAGE:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
>
>.........................................................
>
DRESSING UP:
>
A woman will dress up to go shopping, to water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
>
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

>.........................................................
>
NATURAL:

>Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
>
>Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
>..........................................................
>
>OFFSPRING:
>
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
>
>.........................................................
>
FINAL THOUGHT

Any married man should forget his mistakes.

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.