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1) I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes - about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes. 2) Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain them. 3) To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero, thanks for nothing! 4) Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work. 5) 42 percent of statistics are made up! 6) I'm trying to date a philosophy professor, but she doesn't even know if I exist or not. 7) There's never enough time to do it right, but there's always enough time to do it over. 8) How do you make a fire with two sticks? Make sure one of them is a match! 9) I'm saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old? 10) The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest. 11)Whats the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? One sells watches and one watches cells. 12)What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets. 13) Friday is my second favorite F word. A parent's job is basically a daily struggle to help a crazy person stay alive. I started a company selling landmines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. Most of the people dream of not working and having lots of money. During an economic crisis 50 % of those dreams came true. What is the difference between a sperm and a lawyer? None, both have one in a million chance to be human beings. Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards. What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? A pimp. xxxxxxxxxx When considering US based operations of guides/outfitters, check and see if they are NRA members. If not, why support someone who doesn't support us? Consider spending your money elsewhere. NEVER, EVER book a hunt with BLAIR WORLDWIDE HUNTING or JEFF BLAIR. I have come to understand that in hunting, the goal is not the goal but the process. | ||
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I like that one.  Grizz Indeed, no human being has yet lived under conditions which, considering the prevailing climates of the past, can be regarded as normal. John E Pfeiffer, The Emergence of Man Those who can't skin, can hold a leg. Abraham Lincoln Only one war at a time. Abe Again. | |||
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  TNX For The Good Ones. | |||
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As the parent of a teenager the quote about trying to keep a crazy person alive is almost tooooo true to be funny. If you own a gun and you are not a member of the NRA and other pro 2nd amendment organizations then YOU are part of the problem. | |||
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R/e # 11,you know the difference between a pickpocket + a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches. Or the difference between a girls track team + a bunch of pygmies? The pygmies are a cunning bunch of little runts. Never mistake motion for action. | |||
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