This is a Irish song I will try to make into a joke. If it sucks please forgive me.

Well a scotsman in a kilt left the pub one evening fair,
and one could tell by how he walked that he drunk more then his share,
he fumbled 'round 'til he could no longer keep his feet,
then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street,

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by,
and one said to the other with a twinkle in her eye,
"see that sleeping scotsman, so strong and handsome built,
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneith the kilt,"

They crept up on that scotsman,
quiet as could be,
lifted up his kilt 'bout an inch so they could see,
and underneith his kilt was nothing more then God had graced him with amoung his birth,

They marveled for a moment then one said "we must be gone,
lets leave a present for our friend befor we move along",
as a gift they left a blue silk ribon tied into a bow,
around the bonnie star the scots kilt did lift and show,

Now the scotsman woke to natures call and stumbles towards the trees,
behind the bush he lifts his kilt and starres at what he sees,
and in a startled voice he says "to whats befor my eyes,
oh lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize".

Heard this on Dr. Demento, on a CD I have of his. It is excellent! We used to sing it after rugby games when we were getting drunk.