#1 – Did you hear about the new Obama Diet? You let Putin eat your lunch every day.

#2 – How does Obama win the war on terror? He renames it! It’s now called the overseas contingency operation.

#3 – Did you hear about the reporter who asked Obama a hard question? Me neither!

#4 – How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb? 5! Al Gore to ensure it’s a CFL, an EPA agent in case the bulb breaks and a mercury cleanup is necessary, a person to bail out the home owner, an ACORN member to ensure that the right person changed the bulb, and a member of the media to celebrate the change.

#5 – Why can’t Obama dance? Because he has two leftist feet.

#6 – Some Republicans are saying that due to his current scandals, President Obama should be impeached. In response, Obama laughed and said, “Two words fellas: President Biden.”

#7 – Why won’t Obama have a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner? Because Vice President Biden will be out of town.

#8 – Democrats and liberals always say they are smarter than conservatives. If that is true, then why do Democrats always have problems filling out a ballot?

#9 – Majority Leader Harry Reid is considering a plan for higher payroll taxes on upper-income earners to help finance health care legislation. So apparently, healthcare will be paid for by the New York Yankees.

#10 – What do Obama and financial scam artists have in common? They both say “yes we can,” give hope, take your money, and will leave you penniless in the end.

#11 – Speaker Nancy Pelosi is in Shanghai to debate climate change with Chinese government officials. I think she’ll do fine. These negotiations always come down to whoever blinks first.

maxresdefault

#12 – How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb? It’s irrelevant; they still don’t know they’re in the dark!

#13 – They say that Christopher Columbus was the first Democrat. When he left to discover America, he didn’t know where he was going. When he got there he didn’t know where he was. And it was all done on a government grant.

#14 – What do you get when you offer a liberal a penny for his thoughts? Change.

#15 – What’s the difference between Bill Clinton and government bonds? Government bonds will mature someday.

#16 – What do you call a basement full of liberals? A whine cellar.

#17 – Nancy Pelosi has now been elected the new House minority leader. She was smiling from ear to ear, which is pretty impressive considering how far her ears have been pulled back.

#18 – Joe Biden accidentally revealed the location of the Vice President’s top secret bunker. The guy can’t help it. But he did apologize. He said, “I am so sorry for the mistake. The launch code is 85334. It will never happen again. It will never happen again. My Gmail password is robot23. What am I doing? The house key is under the plant near the doorstep.”

#19 – What kind of doctor do you need to fix Obamacare? A URLologist.

#20 – What’s Obama’s new slogan in these tough times? Spare Change You Can Believe In! or another popular choice is Puff Puff Pass.

#21 – Today is #CyberMonday, the day you can buy anything online. And by “anything” I mean anything but health insurance.

#22 – Three Boys: Three boys were out hiking one winter day, and heard cries for help coming from the lake. Rushing to see what was the matter, they found Barack Obama who had fallen through some thin ice on a lake and was about to drown. Quickly the boys formed a human chain and pulled him to safety. “I’d like to reward you boys with something special for saving me,” said Obama. “Just name it, and it’s yours!” “I want a ride on Air Force One,” said the first boy. “You’ve got it!” said Obama. “I want a medal that I can show the other kids at school,” said the second boy. “No problem!” said Obama. The third boy thought for a moment, and said “I want a wheelchair.” “But why would you want that?” asked Obama. “‘Cause when I get home and tell my dad that I saved YOU he’s gonna break my legs!”