A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well, it was like this," said the man, "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them.

While I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at it's rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt.

That's when I made my BIG mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the cows tail and yelled to my wife, Hey, this looks like yours!"

I don't remember much after that...