Probably some of you are familiar with the meme Bad Luck Brian that has been going around the Web. If not, here is a sample:

http://www.quickmeme.com/Bad-Luck-Brian/

Anyway, I decided that if Bad Luck Brian was into shooting sports, here are some of the situations he would likely encounter:

Finds a good fence to shoot targets in Korea. 38th parallel.

Learns reloading before going on dangerous game hunt in Africa. During elephant charge, realizes he forgot gunpowder.

Placed a rifle he "knew was unloaded" against his crotch and carelessly pulls trigger. .378 Weatherby Magnum.

Pulls out handgun on a hold-up attempt. Forgot to eject snap-cap.

Shoots .44 Magnum revolver into air at midnight on New Year's. Severs high voltage power line with a "lucky" shot.

Again with a .44 Magnum, shoots at what he thinks is an empty metal drum. Propane tank.

Gets drunk. Trades his Bren Ten for a Jennings.

Takes a new Derringer on a trade. .475 Linebaugh.

Trades guns. Trades guns.

Turns to a life of crime and breaks into a house. Ted Nugent's.

One early morning, sets up a deer stand beside a tree. Directly underneath a hornet's nest.

It turns out that Bad Luck Brian has had even more unfortunate experiences in the world of shooting and firearms.

During reloading, seats bullets backwards. Gets shot in face.

Takes the .22 pistol in preference to the sharp stick for self-defense. Trips, falls on sharp stick, and dies instantly.

Takes Jeep deep into desert to do target shooting. Bullet hits boulder, ricochets back, and cracks Jeep's engine block.

Pretends to commit suicide with a squirt gun. First person ever to die from water being injected through skull.

Gets a government job. Unarmed guard at a high-security federal prison.

Yep + Murphy's law says that the good wiper blade is on the passenger side.

Alas, Bad Luck Brian can never catch a break:

Goes to a turkey shoot. Gets shot by a turkey.

Finally saves up enough for a high-end AR-15. Gun ban.

Gets turned down by NICS for a gun purchase. Reason: Too ugly.

Puts down gun when police surround him. They order him to pick it back up again.

Returns to a life of crime and tries to hold up a liquor store. Had to show clerk his ID, later arrested.



Fin

P.S.

BREAKING. Just had a late report on even more calamities from Bad Luck Brian.

Hang fire of a .505 Gibbs rifle. Buttstock delivers knockout punch during a hippo charge. (Note: Based in part on a true account!)

Assembles Ross rifle incorrectly. Now has to draw back bolt stuck in his face in order to feed himself. (If you knew what a Ross rifle was, it would be a hell of a joke. )

Miraculously survives a bullet ricochet to his head. Chokes to death on a Tylenol for his headache.

Fires his new .458 Magnum into the air. On a fluke, downs approaching Air Force One.

Sells his car to buy a .600 Nitro Express revolver. Decides to shoot it.