1 . Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.

3. Put a giant dog dish next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads, " Hey Bubba - Big Mike and I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the Pitbulls. Better wait outside. They attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up pretty bad. I locked all four of them in the house."

That ought to work!!!!!

I've got a friend who is a real cut-up and has a great sense of humor. In his neighborhood he constanly has Jehovah's witnesses coming by to witness to him. He has hit on a way to slow this down considerably. He had a sign made and put on his front door that says "warning, new carpet, wipe your feet before entering or you will be shot" In front of his door on the porch he has strategically placed several fired 12 gauge shotgun shells and a few 45 long colt fired brass. He tells me that this works real well. The witnesses will walk up and read the sign and see the shells and look at each other and turn around and walk away.
GWB

Best cure for JW's I've seen was my ex son in laws Dad had a sign on his front door:

"The only thing I want to witness is YOU coming in and stripping!!"

They never bothered him again.

George