I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or “foreplay” as
she likes to call it.

After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going
to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely
enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I
thought, “Screw it, soldier on!”

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I’d slept with. I told her,
“Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!”

and that's when the fight started...

A lot of truth in humor don't you know.