A FATHER'S WORST FEAR

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad".
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had
to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes.

But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said
that we will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her
as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the
woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

She wants to have many more children with me and that's now
one of my dreams too. Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't
really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it
with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for
AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!! Don't
worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take
care of myself.

Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know
your grandchildren.

Your son,

John

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's
house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things
in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Sad thing is, there are a lot of fathers out there who, like me, never realized just how hard we were on our offspring until it was too late to change anything.

The up side to the above is that somehow, regardless of how we tried to muck it up, our sons and daughters turn out light years better than we ever thought they would. I give thanks every day for my four...