A little story!!! > > >
While I was driving down the A40 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been)
I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.
The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk asked: "Runway too short??

To which I replied, "I'm late for work." To which he asked, "What do you do?"

I responded, "I'm a rectum stretcher" The copper was surprised and confused. "A rectum stretcher?? And> just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."

Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge ..."
Speeding ticket: £105.00

Penalty Points : 3

Court costs: £45

Look on copper's face: Priceless.

There are some things money can't buy