A guy sees a sign in front of house: "Talking Dog for Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the mutt replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty
young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA
about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to
country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one
figured a dog would be eavesdropping .

"I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The
jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger and wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the
airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering
near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some
incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals.

"Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he
wants for the dog.

The owner says, "Ten dollars."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why ! on earth are you selling
him, so cheap?"

The owner replies, "He's such a liar. He didn't do half of that shit."