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MAN JOKES --- 1 -How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It! 2 -What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. 3 - Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.. 4 - How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. 5 - Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care. 6 - What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already. 7 - If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long 8 - Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. 9 - Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. 10 - Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. 11 - If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. 12 - Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.. It's called a Wedding Cake. 13 - Why do men die before their wives? They want to. | ||
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You forgot : God created the female orgasm so women could moan when they were having fun too And Why do brides wear white ? To match the other kitchen appliances And Did you know that single girls cant fart? Apparently they dont get an asshole till they marry.... Yes - I do own a wife - obviously she isnt here at present .... ________________________ Old enough to know better | |||
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When is a woman smartest? Before sex, during sex or after sex? During sex of course. That's when she has a genius plugged into her! | |||
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Lock jaw. The result of a mysterious chemical reaction a woman's body goes thru when a gold ring goes on her finger. | |||
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Why do women have two sets of lips? So they can piss and moan at the same time... Rich | |||
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Good one, Rich. I don't usually comment on the humor section but that was funny. ...I say that hunters go into Paradise when they die, and live in this world more joyfully than any other men. -Edward, duke of York ". . . when a man has shot an elephant his life is full." ~John Alfred Jordan "The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance." Cicero - 55 BC "The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities." - Ayn Rand Cogito ergo venor- KPete “It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker, that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own self-interest. We address ourselves, not to their humanity but to their self-love, and never talk to them of our own necessities but of their advantages.” ― Adam Smith - “Wealth of Nations” | |||
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The Accurate Reloading Forums THE ACCURATE RELOADING.COM FORUMS Other Topics Humor men understand these
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