A man and his wife of more than 50 years were rocking back and forth
on the front porch. Slowly they rocked in rhythm, as this was their
time to spend a few quiet moments and after years of practice they
rocked to the same pace.

Suddenly the wife stopped, grabbed her cane, and with a loud and hard
WHACK hit her husband across the shins.

His eyes watered and tears ran down his cheeks. When he finally caught
his breath he gasped and asked, "What'd you do that fer?""

"That's fer fifty years of bad sex," she said. He nodded his head, but
said nothing. Slowly they began to rock again. Again they kept pace.
Back and forth, back and forth they rocked, until suddenly the man
stopped, and picked up his cane. He reached over and with a loud,
sharp WHACK, he hit his wife across the shins.

As soon as her eyes quit watering and she could speak she asked, "What
was that fer?"

"That," said her husband as he began to rock again, "is fer knowin'
the difference!"

Juan + Maria get married.Wedding night Juan says "I will give you something that only I have!" Next day after work Juan comes home to see Maria in a quandry.She says I saw Jorge next door hanging out his laundry naked + he had one too,Que? Quick thinking Juan remarks that as he had 2 + that Jorge was his friend he would give him one.The next day coming home from work Juan finds Maria in tears.What is wrong? He pleads. She replies,"Why did you give him the good one?"