Am I Gay?' Self Examination For Men

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
It
means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent
the
rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah
diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog,
but
gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a
delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And
just
think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your
ass
over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come
to
daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on
bar-B-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs
feet,
or tits. Anything else and your in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
parking
lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his
bathroom; he goes wherever he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you own designer
kneepads. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy
Latte'.
If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there,
too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four
different
types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be
handing
out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain
to
remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know
what a
'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other
than
cotton or denim, you are a fag.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to
tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at
a
slow-ass driver or to cut off the jerk. The rest of the time he needs
that
hand to change the radio station, eat a burger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list
because
you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the
verge on being a fudge packer!!

philny--you are definetly not one of us, but a genuine fag lover with a warped mind. you should go to star trek and have bones and mr. spock check your brain wiring.

quote:

Originally posted by ztreh:
philny--you are definetly not one of us, but a genuine fag lover with a warped mind. you should go to star trek and have bones and mr. spock check your brain wiring.

And what planet are you from dog balls. My joke hit abit to close to home for ya. Did ya score on all eight, maybe.
I think it and you are fuvking hilarious

quote:

Originally posted by philny1:
Am I Gay?' Self Examination For Men

If you can pick out chartreuse ... you're gay.

Gotta call on this one. The chartreuse/silver F7 was one of the best Rapela ever came up with.