The Defective Parrot



A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs.
he guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this
wooden bar, like a little hook. You can't see it, because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you.?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost
any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really
ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet.
You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great
sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over
with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the UPS man."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,"
reported the parrot.

"NO!" he exclaims. "and she let him?"

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over."

Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"DUNNO?!? I got a hard-on, and fell off my perch!"


If this doesn't make you laugh, you must be having a really bad day.

I Like !!

Kinda reminds me of the lame one from the early 70s. The Israelis sent a parrot to Egypts head of state. The parrot then said,"Moshe Dyan say's fuck you."The minister is pissed + says to tear out the parrots tounge. Now what do you have to say? The parrot with one wing covers an eye + with the other gives him the finger.I TOLD you it was lame.

quote:

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Kinda reminds me of the lame one from the early 70s. The Israelis sent a parrot to Egypts head of state. The parrot then said,"Moshe Dyan say's fuck you."The minister is pissed + says to tear out the parrots tounge. Now what do you have to say? The parrot with one wing covers an eye + with the other gives him the finger.I TOLD you it was lame.

Haven't heard that one for a while.

quote:

posted document.write('<nobr>'+ myTimeZone('Sun, 31 Mar 2019 13:44:45 GMT-0700', '01 April 2019 01:44')+'</nobr>');01 April 2019 01:4401 April 2019 01:44Hide Postquote:Hide PostKinda reminds me of the lame one from the early 70s. The Israelis sent a parrot to Egypts head of state. The parrot then said,"Moshe Dyan say's fuck you."The minister is pissed + says to tear out the parrots tounge. Now what do you have to say? The parrot with one wing covers an eye + with the other gives him the finger

posted 01 April 2019 01:44 Hide Post



quote:

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Kinda reminds me of the lame one from the early 70s. The Israelis sent a parrot to Egypts head of state. The parrot then said,"Moshe Dyan say's fuck you."The minister is pissed + says to tear out the parrots tounge. Now what do you have to say? The parrot with one wing covers an eye + with the other gives him the finger.I TOLD you it was lame.



Haven't heard that one for a while. .I TOLD you it was lame. Haven't heard that one for a while.

He's got a million of 'em!

At one time there was a poster around that featured a portrait of Moshe Dyan in full uniform with his signature eye patch.
The inscription at the bottom:
HIRE THE HANDICAPPED

I sure do ed. I'm here almost every night ,people between 9-11.Thanks folks + come again.

"That's a Norwegian parrot (not a defective one), and he's just pining for the fjords!"
- Monty Python

Punchline only -- from parrot to the magician, only survivors from two-days sunken cruise ship:
"Waaack! I give up. Where's the ship."