#16 You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.

#15 Relax, your handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them awhile.

# 14 If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.

#13 If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.

#12 Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?

#11 You don't know how fast you were going? Then I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket.

#10 Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?

#9 Warning? You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.

#8 The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?

#7 You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.

#6 Yeah, we have quotas. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.

#5 In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.

#4 How big were those two beers you say you had?

#3 No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to. But now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want.

#2 I'm glad to hear that the Chief is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.

#1 You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right. We don't. Sign here.

Definately some good ones there!!

Baaaaaadddd Cop! No Donut!!